The Ask That Terrifies You
You have earned it. You know you have earned it — the extra project, the results, the year of showing up. And yet the sentence sits in your throat like a stone. You draft the email, delete it, rehearse the meeting in the shower, and put it off another quarter. The question you typed into the search bar was plain: how do I actually ask for a raise?
Cicero — Rome's greatest advocate, a man who could sway a jury with a paragraph — spent his life on exactly this problem: how to move someone who holds the power to say no. In De Oratore he laid out the orator's threefold task, an idea worth paraphrasing: to persuade, you must prove your case with evidence, win goodwill, and only then move the listener to act. Note the order. The proof comes first. Cicero never walked into the Forum hoping his feelings would carry the day; he walked in with the facts already arranged.
Here is the method that actually works.
Build the evidence file first. Cicero's "proof" is your list of accomplishments — quantified. Revenue you brought in, costs you cut, projects you led, responsibilities that grew past your job title. Concrete numbers beat adjectives every time.
Research the market rate. Look up your role, industry, and region on salary sites (Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, LinkedIn Salary, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics), and ask trusted peers. You want a defensible range, not a wish.
Time it well. The strongest moments are after a clear win, at a performance review, or when budgets are being set — not during a company crisis or a bad quarter.
Anchor high, but reasonably. Name a specific figure at the top of your researched range; the first number tends to frame the negotiation. Asking for a range slightly above your target leaves room to settle where you actually want to land.
Ask, then stop talking. State your case, name your number, and let the silence do its work. Don't negotiate against yourself.
Have a fallback. If the answer is "no budget," pivot to what else has value: a written timeline for revisiting, a title change, more paid time off, a bonus, or professional development. Get any agreement in writing.
Frame the whole thing around your value to them — the goodwill Cicero prized — not your rent or your feelings. You are not begging; you are presenting a case.
Cicero never left the argument to chance. Don't leave your number to it either.
JRC Advice offers general information, not personalized financial or career advice. For your specific situation, consult a qualified professional.